You know your world is changing when even your platitudes and the Micro-Scripts they’re encased in are pulled over by the Truth police for questioning. I’m talking about the most timeless Micro-Scripts of all, the ones your grandmother told you that probably came from ancient Babylonia because they were so much a part of nature. All the great “sayings” are verbalized in Micro-Scripts of course, the ones we pass through the generations as the thumbnail lessons of youth. Like “where there’s smoke there’s fire.” And “you can’t judge a book by its cover.”
So the other day, my wife sends me out to get flowers for the hostess of a party we’re going to. “Just get a nice bouquet. You can go to the supermarket. But don’t get roses! Those supermarket roses die in a day! I’m no flower murderer, but it happens every time, no matter what I do. I think they must be defective.”
So here’s two things. First of all, the only roses she could be talking about are the ones I remember to get her at our local Stop & Shop (thank god they’re open) 20 minutes before any special occasion over the past 2-3 decades. So there’s got to be a bonus message in there for me. And second, I’ve heard of a flashlight being defective, but a flower? Didn’t nature take care of that? I mean roses are so vital, they even have two Micro-Scripts. The one above and “A rose by any other name would still be a rose.” *
Now, I put this saga to a wise friend of mine who said, “Well… these farm-raised, genetically enhanced species nowadays can definitely vary from nature’s original in longevity, strength, disease resistance and personality. Look at those farm-raised Salmon. A wild Salmon develops character swimming up that river for thousands of miles. Dodging bears. Getting lost. Keeping his little pink Salmon chin up. It adds flavor and character to the whole fish, plus extra vitamins and minerals you can taste in the meat. BUT those farm raised Salmon? They’re like Paris Hilton! They sit around socializing all day on their fat Salmon butts. They never overcome a challenge. And it’s well known that they’re weaker in color, taste, nutrient quality and texture. Those roses you think are such a buy at $2.99 per dozen…? Probably pumped with Rose Growth Hormone in China, grown in fake soil, never talked-to (like normal roses) by their heartless industrial farmers. A rose like that looks good just long enough to attract you at the super market. Like a 5 dollar whore. But it’s gonna give up the ghost the second you get it home. It’s beauty is only skin deep.”
I was devastated. He was right. It was the only answer. Then he rubbed more salt into the wound by throwing a barrage of Micro-Scripts at me to seal the deal: Beauty’s only skin deep, You get what you pay for. Success that isn’t earned never satisfies. When he got into “And after all, Crime doesn’t pay” I told him to shut up and go home.
But his point was made. A rose is a rose is a rose? Next, thing you know, they’ll be questioning the integrity of Cubic Zirconium! B
*Yeah, well I think roses might not have become such a Valentine franchise if their name was Schnitzel Weed.